The Family and the Church

How does the church encourage and equip families to live the Christian life?  

A great question, where there are hundreds of answers. I’ll highlight just a few from my perspective as a Christian, as a parent, and as a pastor.

As a Christian

As a Christian, I am so thankful that God created the concept of the church. Some of my earliest memories were of a small non-denominational charismatic church that my parents faithfully took my brother Mark and me to throughout childhood and into our teen years. We lived several states away from other family, so those fellow church members felt like our family! Besides corporately worshipping together three times a week, we often met socially for fellowship and encouragement.  

When I was 16, our family became involved with a larger congregation that offered so many opportunities for us teens to grow spiritually and socially. Now I had a whole new group of Christians to hang out with, and I began spending significantly more time with them. Next thing I knew, I was going with a group to the local mall to share our faith in Christ with strangers, traveling to Texas on a youth choir trip, and flying to Germany on a missions trip! The influence of those friends led me to attend a Christian university after graduating high school, where I met my godly wife, Kim.  

My involvement with the church has shaped my entire life in so many positive ways. It hurts my heart for those who miss out because of misconceptions, like feeling unworthy to participate, or because they allow a past hurt to keep them from experiencing present joys. 

Study after study shows that people who are involved in a faith group feel they have more friends, feel happier, tend to be wealthier, and live at least two years longer.

Our Creator knew we thrive best in groups, as opposed to flying solo. Sure, someone can hear the gospel on the radio, realize they too are a sinner in need of a Savior, receive Jesus into their heart, and one day be welcomed into heaven -- all without plugging into a local body of fellow believers. But that’s like being born and drinking milk from a bottle the rest of your life, without graduating to all the great food and beverage options available. Yes, such a person is alive – but thriving? No. I’ve met plenty of folks like this – settling for barely making heaven, not caring about growing in their faith or bringing others with them into God’s kingdom.

As a Parent

As parents, my wife and I didn’t even have to discuss whether or not we were going to raise our three children in the church. We were excited for them to have the same kinds of experiences we both had: having other adults in their life to teach them about God’s love for us all; making good friends; and growing in the Christian faith. The church has provided them so many amazing and helpful opportunities – to be in music groups, to go on missions trips, to learn to serve God in both the church and in our community.

All three of our kids (now 22, 20 and 18) were involved in sports – and my wife and I informed their coaches pre-season that if a practice or game interfered with our church involvement, that we’d be choosing the church. It was amazing how coaches respected our position of prioritizing what really matters. I wish more parents would choose that same path, because the likelihood is slim that a student will go into professional athletics, but there is a 100% chance that one day they’ll stand before God. What will God’s judgment reveal about their lives? Will it be trust in Christ? Will it be the purity of their love and good works? Or will it be faithlessness and apathy (1 Corinthians 6:10-15, Ephesians 6:8, Matthew 25:31-46)? 

Parents play an enormous role in all this. In the Scriptures, parents are charged with ensuring that their children are being nurtured spiritually through resources of the church, and they are charged with spiritually nourishing their children at home (Ephesians 6:4, Deuteronomy 4:9, 6:7). It could not be a bigger deal.  

I’m so pleased that all three of our children and their significant others are serving the Lord – and that we’ll be together with Jesus forever in the new heavens and the new earth – which is the most important thing!

Our family seeks to attend church even when vacationing. Last summer while in Florida, we found a delightful multi-site congregation that reminded me of Horizons. It’s a great reminder that the body of Christ is not limited to the church we attend; we are kindred spirits with other believers across the world who have found the Lord and are seeking to know more about him.

As a Pastor

I am 50 years old, but I have only been a pastor the past eight years. Most of my career was in the various “people” businesses. But throughout our adult lives Kim and I were always involved in ministry – making church enjoyable for children while teaching them about the Lord, doing drama skits for services, teaching adult Sunday school classes, and more. But in becoming a pastor, I’ve been blessed to see the church in a whole new way.

At church, people who bring in heavy burdens can walk out feeling lighter, as they realize they can cast their cares on God’s shoulders as they face medical concerns, relationship struggles, or financial burdens. At church, folks can discover Jesus as their Lord and Savior, and grow in becoming his disciple – being baptized, joining a bible study community group. At church, friends can work side by side volunteering in ministry, realizing their potential in serving – that it’s truly better to give than receive (Acts 20:35).

In our society, where people often feel more isolated than ever, the church provides a network of friends for children, their parents, and grandparents.  Attending in itself is encouraging to others – it’s so exciting to see a sanctuary filling up with friends, neighbors, co-workers – imperfect people who recognize their need for God in their lives.  

The words of Hebrews 10:23-25 indeed ring true:  “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day [of the Lord’s return] approaching.” Why would we want to miss out on this? So let us take great joy in the privilege of worshiping together as a church.