Knowledge with Love
In February 2017, I vulnerably admitted, “kids aren’t my thing.” I never dreamed of having children nor did I think I was suited to be a mother (not so true now, but not the topic of this piece).
I said, “I look at children and see ignorance and giant messes. God looks at children and calls them blessed. He puts praises on the mouths of children and nursing babies. Maybe I’m the ignorant, giant mess and I’m afraid of letting go. Father, help me to look at [my daughter] and see what you see, and to learn from her.”
Most responses were positive and understanding, but one person was critical of my vulnerability. I decided to stop sharing honestly about my family because one person’s lack of empathy hurt me so deeply.
Being vulnerable – putting what we think, feel, or believe out into the world – can be really difficult because, in many ways, it is like walking out in the middle of a busy street completely exposed, hoping someone will give you clothes. Everyone will see you. Some will give you clothes, and others will ridicule you for your lack of decency: “Why are you putting that out there for everyone to see?”
TOXIC KNOWLEDGE
Knowledge can feel like a safeguard against uncertainty, but it is toxic when it is not shared with love and respect for others. Knowledge without love does not build another person up.
1 Corinthians 13:2 says, “If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing” (CSB).
Christian or not, all people have souls, and all souls are to be treated with care. All people are made in the image of God, and we would do well to remember that before we go charging into conversations with knives and pitchforks (or fire and brimstone, if you will).
I’ve observed people wielding knowledge without love in conversations surrounding all sorts of hot topics: religion, politics, human rights, raising children, and personal health choices, to name a few.
The goal of these conversations is often not to reach mutual understanding through open, respectful dialogue, but to condemn the other person and try to convert them to a different viewpoint. Sometimes, we dangerously play the “God card” to try and get others to see things our way.
John 3:17 says, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (CSB). When Jesus “moved into the neighborhood,” as Eugene Peterson put it, his mission and message was not condemnation even though he could have rightfully condemned the world because he is Truth. Instead of condemnation, he preached salvation.
NOT WATERED DOWN
Jesus did not condemn, but he also did not water down his message. Being aware of our sin and grieving it is appropriate and necessary, but he convicts us in love.
I’ve always thought of conviction as being constructive – you are doing this, and it is sin, but it’s not the end. There is hope and forgiveness. By the power of the Holy Spirit, you can change and be free from the bondage of sin.
Condemnation makes you aware of your sin, but provides no hope for redemption, forgiveness, or freedom from the bondage of sin. Condemnation is from Satan.
Paul writes, “He made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21, CSB). So, then, I wonder: Is empathy the antidote to knowledge without love?
Empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another” (Oxford English Dictionary). Empathy involves getting down on the same level as someone else and seeing a situation from their perspective.
Jesus was empathetic. He hung out with sinners and kids. The Pharisees criticized him, wondering why he was hanging out with tax collectors and sinners (Mark 2). The disciples gave him a hard time when He spent time with children (Mark 10). Each time he defended his choices to prioritize giving his time and care to them.
In all things, he shared the truth in love with all people. He got down on their level and was vulnerable with them, building relationships with them. He felt deeply, even crying at the death of a dear friend (John 11:35).
He lived every day on earth learning about people, loving those people, and healing those people. Then he died for those people, and died for us, that we might have life in him.
RIGHTLY HANDLE KNOWLEDGE
Knowledge is not bad, in itself.
Philippians 1:9-11 encourages us to pursue knowledge. “And I pray this: that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment, so that you may approve the things that are superior and may be pure and blameless in the day of Christ” (CSB).
Knowledge helps us understand the world. There is infinite knowledge, and at a very high level, all of it is good. How we handle it determines if that good knowledge is a weapon of destruction or a tool of growth.
How do we handle it when someone is definitely in the wrong and needs corrected?
The early church had this problem a lot. The apostles had a tough job ensuring the truth was being preached, in addition to eliminating the false doctrine being spread in the churches and to the unbelievers.
One of my favorite examples is in Acts 18. Priscilla and Aquila worked with Paul to found the early church in Ephesus. Apollos, a “native Alexandrian, an eloquent man who was competent in the use of the Scriptures” came to Ephesus (Acts 18:24, CSB). He had been taught, and was teaching accurately about Jesus, but Apollos only knew about John’s baptism.
Priscilla and Aquila heard Apollo speaking in the synagogue, and recognized he needed to be corrected. They didn’t run into the synagogue and start screaming, “DON’T LISTEN TO HIM. HE SPEAKS LIES!” No, Acts 18:26 says, “They took him aside and explained the way of God to him more accurately” (CSB).
Later, when he wanted to go out and preach to other areas, they wrote up a letter saying, “Hey, this guy is good. Welcome him in and listen to him,” and he “was a great help to those who by grace had believed. For he vigorously refuted the Jews in public, demonstrating through the Scriptures that Jesus is the Messiah” (Acts 18:27-28, CSB).
The example of Jesus and of Priscilla and Aquila helps us to see some ways we can reach out to the people in our lives and, instead of condemning them, love them and lead them in truth. Sharing knowledge and correcting others in love can be empowering. Being led by the Holy Spirit can help us discern how to handle situations.
“Warn those who are idle, comfort the discouraged, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See to it that no one repays evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good for one another and for all” (1 Thessalonians 5:14-15, CSB).
To borrow from Lore Ferguson Wilbert, I am not going to give you rules about how to live this out, but I hope to raise the conversation so you can think and pray through what you believe and let the Holy Spirit guide you to truth.
We cannot do this on our own. And we’re not going to get it right every time. But with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can share the knowledge of the Word of God and still be loving and respectful of each other.
